…odd advertising…
driving down I-4
billboards for vasectomies
are just plain creepy
…rollerblading lesson #2…
while taking a spill
roll onto your shoulder to
protect the ipod
…cold and lazy…
my favorite part
of winter is not having
to mow the damned lawn
…price of prescience…
when the dreaming starts
terrible headaches and a
profound sense of loss
…will you please wait til i’m done getting the food out of the can before you rush in to eat it…
see?! now you have a
bloop of chicken gunk on top
of your head, dumb cat.
…gargoyle…
this awful visage
is scant protection hiding
an inner greatness
…morning run (7-9-7)…
as the race draws to a close
a ribbon of the dawn’s horizon
breaks across my heaving chest
…the fine print…
weight watcher’s won’t work
if you spend all of your points
on chocolate bars
(luckily, haiku are low cal AND low carb, thus suitable for any diet plan. According to the most recent nutritional information, a serving of three haiku per day can actually help lower your cholesterol. and they stay crunchy in milk.)
…on-the-job hazards…
horrid paper cut
sliced down to my very soul
but didn’t bleed much
…in awe of evil…
as i stare at you
seas boil, moon turns to blood
but i won’t notice
…gracious retirement living…
locked in a closet
then thrown to the curb in a
hefty cinch-sac bag
…ode to my siblings…
i am one of three
i can’t help but feel that i’m
the best of the bunch
…divination by fire…
parchment to the flame
soot patterns reveal answers
to scrying questions
…jumping the gun…
yes, some weight was lost
but buying smaller shirts was
tad optimistic
…appeal to the greedy…
you who have so much,
they have so very little
why this lust for more?
…a minor worry…
what if there’s dancing
up in heaven, will i feel
like a graceless cow?
…self awareness…
when is the right time
to reveal a great secret
to your inner self?
…wounds of interaction…
these horrific scars
we give to one another
just by accident
…changing my mind…
placed between my ears
is a floating grey mass of
inconsistency
